…and I think that’s why so many Muslim women are deciding to take off the head scarf this summer. It’s a sad reality. But honestly, it’s also really spiritually motivating. And this isn’t to say that I enjoy watching my sisters in Islam decide to uncover their hair. What I…
I’m becoming more and more convinced that the hardest job in the world is being a mother. As such, I am no longer surprised by the emphasis Allah (swt) gives with regards to the importance of being dutiful to ones parents and specifically one’s mother. You’d be hard pressed to find a Muslim who is not familiar with the following hadith about the man who approached Allah’s Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him)and asked him:
”Who among the people is most deserving of a fine treatment from my hand? He said: Your mother. He again said: Then who (is the next one)? He said: Again it is your mother (who deserves the best treatment from you). He said: Then who (is the next one)? He (the Holy Prophet) said: Again, it is your mother. He (again) said: Then who? Thereupon he said: Then it is your father.”
This hadith gives me such pleasure because God only knows how much crap mothers endure.
Yet, I know too many people who have the luxury of being able to pay someone to do their job for them - i.e. hire a nanny. Now, don’t get me wrong, if I could afford it, I would totally consider it, however, I always get frustrated when said individuals complain and criticize their nannies for not being ‘perfect’ care-givers. For not being able to maintain their home spotless all the while taking care of the children. Blaming them for every single fall and bump incurred by their child while under the nanny’s supervision. Scolding them for wanting to do everything EXCEPT look after the kids.
Do you know why?
Because it’s EXHAUSTING! It is exhausting physically but most importantly mentally. Because when you clean the house, the house does not soil itself or fidget and move as you try to scrub it. It does not yell at you for wanting to look after it. It does not insist on putting itself in harms way and smack you for trying to protect it.
And you know what makes matters worse? Because they rely on their nannies to look after their kids, they fail to discipline them when they misbehave since, ultimately, it is the nanny who has to deal with them -The nanny has to deal with the rudeness, and the lack of organization which she pays for with sleepless nights. Because we know that if she were to try and enforce some form of discipline, the parent would flip out and tell her that she has no right.
Now these nannies are no saints by any means, in fact, I don’t think I could trust many of them with my own children. But if you are going to outsource your job, don’t expect that they will care about your children as much as you do. Even I don’t want to deal with my own children from time to time - how much more if they weren’t even mine?